I Am In Charge Of God! I Am In Charge Of Me!

I Am In Charge Of God! I Am In Charge Of Me!

The writing style for this post is different from the others in this series. To me, it reads both as a closing post and an opening post, perhaps for the next series in this journey. Anyway, I hope this conclusion is not a disappointment.

Of course I wouldn’t say that out loud. Who would actually say that out loud? People get put away for saying things like that. But if I look deep down into my heart, beyond the part that I don’t want anyone else to see, deeper down beyond the part that even I don’t want myself to see…isn’t that what resides there?

My God is Me. My-God-Me.

He is the one who yelled triumphantly, “We have Finally Killed God! We are free from His tyranny!”

He is the one who is so demanding of me I can’t have a moment of peace until I have fulfilled his every single capricious want and need. My-God-Me is the true cruel tyrant.

To please My-God-Me, I have given up everything, and I find now that My-God-Me has given me nothing in return, only failed promises and a trail of broken relationships and disappointments. My years of faithful devotion and believing have given me not a single lasting treasure promised by My-God-Me.

He is the one who continues to yell, “I am in charge of God! I am in charge of me!” He will not give up. He will not admit how hollow and empty he is.

So I can call you “Brother” and I can call you “Sister,” but behind your back I’m telling myself what a fool you are and how in My Kingdom, the Kingdom of My-God-Me, you have no place. Yes, I will smile at you with my rehearsed smile, and you will think I am enthralled by you…until you give me what I want from you.

I can find dozens of reasons not to help you, not to give to you. This proves how much better I am than you. I am exalted.

What you call my hatred is really my form of holiness. You stay away from me, don’t you? So you have proven my holiness, my set-apartness. I’m the only one who knows the truth, just me and the ones who think and believe like me. Aren’t you glad I’m willing to share my time and my words with you?

That’s me. Right there. My-God-Me.

Let me impress you even more. I can bend God’s Written Word to make it mean anything I want it to mean and to justify anything I want it to justify. Aren’t you impressed? You should be. I am resplendent, shining brilliantly in my glowing splendor.

But I can’t bend God’s Living Word, Jesus Christ. That One bends me. I don’t like that, and so I stay just at arm’s length away.

I can win any argument about God’s Written Word because I know all there is to know, at least more than you, but you won’t hear me saying much about God’s Living Word, God’s Word Made Flesh.

I stay at arm’s length because I don’t want to see those two loving arms stretched out, nailed down, beckoning me to join Him in the only way out of this religion I have made of myself and by myself and for myself, my worship of My-God-Me.

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. (Matthew 16:24-25 KJV)

The only God I need to kill is the one that I have created within myself. Only Real Life Jesus, I believe, can rescue me from the tyranny of My-God-Me.

Thanks for reading!


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3 thoughts on “I Am In Charge Of God! I Am In Charge Of Me!

    1. Thanks, Dave. I appreciate that. I wasn’t too sure if it would be too “way out there” or not and the writing style was different from my regular one. Still I just stayed with what I was feeling and where I am right now. (“Pick up your cross and follow me” has a much deeper meaning than what I’ve often heard it to mean.) Anyway, thanks again! John

      Liked by 1 person

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